I go to one of those “Special Meeting Places”- you know the kind like they have for overeater’s, addict, OCD, alcoholics, and etc, Which one I go to does not matter it is like free therapy and keeps me sane in an insane world. Anyways almost everyone goes there and the rest are out in the world over-eating, getting high, getting drunk, and mixing their medications with all kinds of different things while trying to be their on doctor, god and shrink.
I must admit I have been staying home alone a lot lately. So I went two nights in a row and what does my friend say in greet “What the Hell” outta surprise. The meeting has already started when I enter and along with me comes interruptions- like getting a cup of coffee-the pot seems to always be empty- which turns out to be a good thing because another friend’s greeting comes in the form of a hug, the coffee pot crashes off the machine clang, clang and she thinks she’s hurt me in the process of a hug. Bunch of caffeine addicts, myself included.
Next I need to go pee in the bathroom. You say what can possibly go wrong in the bathroom. Well let me tell you that anything can when it’s me. When I flush the toilet, it won’t flush, so I pick up the top of the tank to flush it, the chain is broken- so I just pull the orange stopper up- flushed toilet. No, I can not ever leave well enough along because I am a wanna be fixer. So I am going to put the chain back together, except I pulled the wrong thing and this thing starts squirting water all over the place, I am making noise, like “Oh NO’ trying to get the tank lid off the toilet seat lid before I become totally drenched. I proceed to turn off the toilet at the value- go into the common area with t-shirt soaked as well as my jeans. At least I have a sweater so I don’t have to sit there wet all over. When it’s my turn to introduce myself (Miss Fix It) I want to add an announcement, which is usually only done at the end of the meeting. Although everyone else thought I may have mishandled the situation by doing this- I proceed to tell them that the toilet was not working proper, that it was turned off and that maybe one of the men could try and fix it. To me this was the best course of action because if someone took a dump and couldn’t flush the toilet you’d think they would feel uncomfortable.
The following day my helper had to go to court, then decides to go return an item at the shopping mall, now she can meet me at work at 3 o’clock. We bust our asses cleaning the first house and of course she hasn’t eaten so food in transit to the next job and it’s already 5 o’clock. So not only are we clean and go we are also “late but we do a terrific Job” Now I get a call from a contract that we have recently gotten. This is the first call we have received after only three months. I call the client to set up a time to come look at her home the following day. I call her to let her no I am a little late and she say this will be okay as she isn’t home anyways but will be by the time I arrive. I am like two minute away, this is a twenty mile trip, and the phone rings – you got it. She is not going to be able to make it. What can I do but reset? I am a poor self-employed single woman- who is behind on all bills and at this rate only God knows how I will catch up and survive.Now for my weekend- Some of us women are getting together for an anniversary meeting-Oh Yea, free food, good friend, band, and dancing. Of course we get lost even getting there with mind you of all thins GPS on sprint. Makes me think of that insurance company commercial. Oh you just gotta know where they have the GPS accident and if you have the other company they’ll take care of you. We finally find the place and “Thank God” there is still food. We listen to the speaker. I get asked to dance- unreliable- you have no idea what this does for my ego. The bad thing is I don’t know his name and he doesn’t know mine. Oh Well! We just have to go to another meeting across town to hook up with everyone else. After which we go to one of those Hookah places. The cookies are great. Everyone one is smoking something called Sex Panther. You know they can’t believe I won’t even try it. I guess I am just really getting old or maybe I just smell too many cleaning products.